A Masterclass in Main Character Energy…aka Summer is Upon Us in Los Angeles
Well, it’s upon us: LA’s most anticipated time of the year and my most dreaded: summer. I want to preface that, in general, summer is not my favorite time of year. Baseline, the temperature is hotter, which negatively correlates to my comfortability and positively correlates to my grouchiness. As I recently told my boyfriend without the slightest degree of hesitation or faintest whiff of sarcasm, fall is really when I hit my stride.
Hit. My. Stride.
I know, I know. I sound like a power-walking, middle-aged, suburban woman in a Sketchers ad. Amazingly, we are still together.
What else? The days are longer. The work week is shorter. The hot girls are hotter. I am, once again, reacquainted with one of my most reviled pieces of clothing (jean shorts) and one of my longest-standing insecurities (how I look in jean shorts). All of these reasons are compounded by living in Los Angeles. I mean, it’s like the word “summer” was invented to encapsulate LA’s energy. There’s even a place in California called Summerland. I got gas and an overpriced coffee there once.
Summer also feels particularly attuned to highlighting those with Main Character Energy (MCE). You know, the people who not only embrace but wholeheartedly embody the adage that “It’s my world, and you’re all just living in it.” Think Sharpay Evans’ solo song “Fabulous” from the seminal hit High School Musical 2.
Conversely, summer also acutely zeroes in on those who are decidedly not the main characters (think the unnamed country club workers who somehow got roped into a musical number catered around a theatre kid).
And yet, despite the divisiveness that this season inspires, I’ve decided to embark on the noble, topical, and important task of trying to bridge this gap. In no particular order, below is a list of what I consider more niche - but still accessible! - ways of accessing MCE all year round, especially in the coming months.
Walking home with your fancy shoes in your hand. This is one of the most surefire ways to evoke Main Character Energy on the go. It’s hard to explain how this simple act can carry so much self-important weight, especially when Tom Wambsgans recently eviscerated this practice on the cultural touchstone that is Succession (What’s even in there? Huh? Flat shoes for the subway?). Sure, shedding your dressy (and likely deeply uncomfortable footwear) imbues a sense of serene, pick-me-girl freedom, but it’s more than that. As your heels clink against one another while you stumble along to wherever you’re going (or better yet, to wherever you know you shouldn’t be going), you become something of a walking juxtaposition. In mid-transition from one presentation of yourself (fancy) to another (casual), you arrive somewhere in the middle of these two façades, in a space that feels wholly your own. To be clear - it’s not. You literally just took off your shoes. But as well all know, a core tenet of MCE is relentless, self-reflective tunnel vision. So, without further ado, go off.
Applying lipstick/lip gloss in the car. I promise no one is looking, but that doesn’t mean you won’t feel like they aren’t.
A note: the efficacy of this is proportional to the type of product you are using. Burt’s Bees = you’re not special. Red Lipstick = a trailblazer in a sedan.
Having a record player and actively using it…even by yourself. I mean, can you imagine??? You're unsure if songs sound better on vinyl, but you have to get something out of this overpriced Urban Outfitters purchase before listing it on Facebook marketplace.
Going to the grocery store ALONE and buying any combination of the following items:
Wine
Cheese (excluding cheese sticks and pre-sliced variations)
Flowers
A basil plant (refrain from joking with the cashier about how you will likely kill this plant - keep them guessing!)
Mints (you will probably compulsively eat these over the next 2 days, fucking over your future self for when you legitimately need a mint, but shhh, that’s a secret just for you).
A card that you don’t have any immediate need/use for. You will likely shove the card in your apartment’s utility drawer to be forgotten until your move-out day.
Bread (but only from the bakery section)
Those overpriced plastic containers of chocolate-covered nuts/fruit. This evokes a more irritating strain of MCE because it implies that you have fuck-you money. Proceed with caution.
Bonus tip: For inspiration on how to best execute the above, please reference this picture of Taylor Swift.
Successfully using self-checkout without any staff member’s help. I can’t stress enough how fucking euphoric this feels. Instant god complex. In the endless war of man vs. machine, avoiding the pitfalls of the minefield that is the Designated Bagging Area garners you innumerable points for the human race.
Carrying an obscene amount of items in one hand. Sure, you might not actually have your shit (read: your life) together, but look at all the actual shit (read: your keys, a two-week-old plastic water bottle from your car floor, an empty TUMS canister, a parking ticket, your wallet, a rogue tampon, an AirPods case, etc.) you can hold at once. It’s the small wins.
Ordering a coffee at the end of a dinner. Why does she need the coffee? (She doesn’t) What does she have going on later? (Doom scrolling) Who is she? (Someone with an impending case of completely avoidable insomnia)
Getting out of bed in the middle of the night (because of that post-dinner coffee) and drinking a glass of water alone in your dark kitchen while looking out a window. In these quiet moments, it can feel like the world is yours and yours alone, waiting with bated breath to hear your inner monologue as you retroactively try to hit your hydration quota from the day before. Unfortunately, more often than not, the only thoughts running through your head are: Hmm, why can’t I sleep? So weird. Oh wait, it’s probably the coffee from dinner.
Crying on a plane. Bonus points if it’s a red-eye. Bonus bonus points if you have the whole row to yourself and can overtake the additional legroom with your despair.
Ordering for the group at a restaurant (i.e., WE will have the chips and guac to start, and then WE will put in some plates to share afterward, please). You might be using the collective we, but you have all the power here.
Honestly, I’m trying to find a way to wrap up this blog post with some semblance of a deeper meaning after re-reading through the list of absolute fluff I have subjected you to. Well, technically, you subjected yourself to it. Ha! How embarrassing!
Just kidding. I am, as always, sincerely grateful and touched if anyone has given up even a few minutes of their day to read my writing. Especially when it’s a particularly round-about, random post like this. And while I recognize that not everything I write has to have some poignant realization or semi-thesis-like idea, I still impose that pressure on myself each time I write for this goofy, self-funded blog! Insane behavior on my part, I know!
In that vein, the most main character thing you can do is….have a point of view. What do you like? More importantly, what don’t you like? What do you stand for? What can’t you stand? What makes you jump for joy? What makes you fall apart? What or who has your respect? How is it earned? Essentially, what are your core tenets?
Super easy, simple stuff, I know. But consider this: maybe Sharpay was such a main character not because she was the loudest or whatever, but because she had the clearest point of view, the clearest sense of self. Towels from Turkey? Lobsters from Maine? That’s not something you just are born knowing, people!
Until next time,
Meredith
